


dulce periculum

by mellafluous



Category: Star Stable
Genre: Dancing, Dimension Travel, F/M, Fluff, Horseback Riding, Light Angst, Magic, Midsummer, Mystical Creatures, Nature, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:46:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25450348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellafluous/pseuds/mellafluous
Summary: Goodness, this really wasn't going as planned. Nothing was going as planned!But for now, all he could do was to deal with it. To push that feeling aside and focus on saving his home.That's what he came here for, after all.
Relationships: Ydris (Star Stable)/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	dulce periculum

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oldpluto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldpluto/gifts).



> The lack of Ydris content is upsetting, so I felt I had to do something to change that. 
> 
> Anya, I truly do hope you'll like this mess :')

"Pandoria is the world under threat! This great evil you speak of was banished to my home!" Ydris took deep breaths. His hands, though clenched into fists, were shaking just slightly. His eyes narrow, filled with rage. And yet Y/N felt the fear that he was feeling, too. She saw it in his eyes- behind all of that anger and desperation to save his home lied sadness and longing. Hide it as he may, and always successfully so, but Y/N saw right through his sickeningly sweet words. She knew he was just covering up his loneliness as best as he could. She understood him fully well. She couldn't blame him for that! How could she blame him, when his world was so deeply misjudged and misunderstood?

Even as they tried to convince him to return Concorde to where she really belonged, Y/N couldn't help but stare at him with sympathy. She didn't understand why the druids antagonized him so - he was just trying to save his own world. Why couldn't they understand that? When Pandoria was the world falling apart, being destroyed by Garnok, how could Linda and Justin just ignore his words? How could they try to convince Ydris that his home was a terrible place? 

She saw the desperation in his eyes as he spoke. "The curtain must fall on your world so that my home might survive," he had said, looking at anyone and anything but at Y/N. His dove, who had betrayed him after gaining his respect and his trust. His sweet Y/N, who had no choice but to turn against him. 

They were both protecting their worlds. How would she tell him that she understood? That she didn't blame him for what she did, that she felt awful for hurting him? 

She couldn't. She had no choice but to turn around and leave the circus as if nothing had ever happened. 

Everything was done for. Their friendship, which she treasured so deeply. Her daily visits to the circus. She would no longer pet Zee as if she was her own horse. Would no longer see Xin, doing whatever it was that Ydris asked for. She could no longer go back with the biggest smile on her face after training with the druids. 

Of course, Ydris had said she could come back - his kindness was, apparently, infinite, for even after she had hurt him, taken away his magic and made him cry and writhe in pain, he still assured her that she could see him again; though the guilt was eating her alive and she was too afraid to face him after what'd happened. 'You had no other choice,' Y/N kept telling herself, 'you did what the Keepers of Aideen wanted you to do. You didn't do it out of your own free will. Ydris will understand.' 

And yet, how could she look him in the eyes and pretend it'd never happened? How could she pretend she hadn't hurt him over a little foal? 

She felt guilty. She felt so guilty, and stupid, and embarrassed and she hated herself for not stopping when she could've. She hated herself for accepting her mission and going along with it. Though she hesitated, and though she knew Ydris had seen that, she would never be able to forgive herself for what she had done.

Talk about coming to Jorvik to relax! 

'It will be fun', her parents said, 'you'll have a great time'. 

Right. 

Every day, she tried as best as she could not to ride towards the circus' direction. Y/N tried so hard to ignore it, to pretend that Ydris had never even existed; even when the Soul Riders mentioned his name, she would look down, pretend she couldn't hear them. For hearing his name hurt her, made her heart sink. It reminded her of everything she'd done to him that night - it made her think about how terrible she was to him. She gained his trust, his friendship, and just like that, she tore it all apart... 

But how could she have known that he had Concorde in the first place? How could she even have guessed that he was from Pandoria, that he had a secret plan of his own to save his world? There was no way! No way she knew! So it wasn't her fault, was it? She didn't have to blame herself. It was all just meant to happen at one point or another. Just like that, her happiness had to crumble when she least expected it to do so... and there was no way Y/N could have prevented it. 

Because Anne needed her Concorde, and the Keepers of Aideen needed Anne. It was just inescapable, really, it was just what needed to be done. 

But Y/N needed Ydris. Cliché as it is, she'd gotten so used to his presence, to his magic tricks and daily fortune telling that she could not go a single day without imagining herself being in his circus. 

So it's not too surprising that she'd had enough, after a few days... maybe a week or two? For Aideen's sake, Y/N didn't even know, for time ran so slow; but it did not matter in the slightest. She had to go see him, she just had to. 

Alright, no one had seen her yet. 

It was dark enough for her to get there unnoticed, but also bright enough for her to see where she was actually going. Just perfect. Would she bring Coco with her or not? No, she must've been sleeping already. Ah, well, that'll make the journey longer... nothing she could do about that, really. 

The path to Nilmer's Highland was rather rough. She felt as if her legs were ready to give out any moment, but she kept going. The summer nights were chilly, yet sweat still trickled down her forehead. When she first came to Jorvik, Y/N never would've thought that she'd have to do this - 

\- and by this meaning the mess that had been the fight with Ydris. 

Y/N passed by the abandoned farm. God, she was finally getting there... how much longer until her knees would just buckle and she'd fall in complete and utter exhaustion? It was late. She was supposed to be sleeping. So why, just why was she doing this? What was it that urged her to go there, all the way from Moorland- and by foot? 

And then she finally reached it. 

Ydris' circus, standing proudly in all its glory. The violet and the pink stripes of the tent weren't that visible, but Y/N could already see it all in detail; the cages, standing here and there, his fortune telling booth on the very left, the wagon in which he slept, and Ydris, himself, doing something that Y/N couldn't really understand. He would be creating a new animal, like that Zony of his, or he would be ordering his most trusted friend to do work around the circus. She saw Zee, trotting to her owner, and the weird little jester Xin, who Y/N secretly called an "oompa loompa". Alex liked that joke, at least. 

Y/N was hesitant. Even if he'd told her she was free to come back, would he be mad to see her again? Hell... what if Ydris was sleeping? Something was telling her to go back home, but another part of her was practically forcing her feet to move forwards, towards the tent. 

And so she listened, and soon enough, she was drawing the curtains to see what hid behind them - and surely enough, it was Ydris. 

His back facing her, he was, once again, doing something she couldn't quite see or understand. Not that it mattered... where was his big fancy hat? He didn't have his black jacket on, and even his hair looked unruly. His dark purple vest still covered his undershirt though, but his white gloves were missing. Immediately, Y/N felt both guilt and empathy eating her up. She knew that, whatever he felt at that moment, be it anger, disappointment, or despair, it was most likely her fault. All of it.

"Ydris?" 

And of course, he froze. He didn't dare turn to look at her, as if he was too mad to see her face again. As if the mere sight made his blood boil - and frankly, Y/N didn't blame him in the slightest. 

"Ah, it's you," Ydris said, still keeping his eyes off her, ignoring her face as best as he possibly could. And he was doing well - so good that, honestly, Y/N almost regretted coming. She felt like he didn't even need her anymore, and she understood, she knew fully well why he felt that way. He could yell at her, tell her the worst things possible, curse her, send her to Pandoria and never let her leave - and even then she would understand. But Y/N knew he would never do any of those things. He was better than that. Ydris was kind; he always treated her the best. Just like she helped him, he was always ready to help her. And she knew that, deep down, he wasn't really angry at her. She knew he understood, and yet... 

She took a nervous step closer, "I'm sorry. I know what I've done. I know I've disappointed you, but... I wanted to apologize."

To her surprise, he answered almost immediately. "Apologize? And why is that?"

"Because I hurt you," the answer rolled off her tongue smoothly, as if she'd been practicing in front of the mirror for hours. "I did something I shouldn't have done. I could've chosen not to take away your magic, I could've left you unharmed, but I still did it. Everything. And I'm so sorry. I regret everything, and I..."

There was a sudden stop to her words. She didn't know what to say next. Yes, even after repeating her little monologue in her head for the few minutes she spent walking towards the circus, she was at a loss for words. Perhaps it was because he wasn't even looking at her and she felt as if she was talking to a brick wall - or it was because of one reason and one reason only. 

She suddenly realized why she felt so much guilt. Why she'd walked all the way to the circus just to see him, to say sorry. Why she had missed seeing his face, hearing his sweet nicknames that were for her and just for her-

-no. She can't feel that way. She can't. He's just a friend, or, well, that is, he was a friend; they're on opposing sides. They're supposed to fight each other, she's not allowed to have such feelings for a person like him, for a pandorian.

And yet she did. 

Y/N frowned. "Ydris, I just wanted to tell you that I- you know, I don't- I don't blame you. I know you might be feeling angry with me and I understand. What I did to you that night is unforgivable. You're just trying to save your home, and yet the druids are (she gritted her teeth, hating that she had to admit this unbelievable fact) trying to actively destroy it. And I can't imagine how it must feel. If there's anything I can do to ease your pain, please tell me."

No, please, don't cry! 

But the tears were already welling up in her eyes, and though she tried to blink them away as swiftly as possible, more and more kept coming. Oh, God, and there they went, rolling down her cheeks, and oh, how she hoped Ydris wouldn't turn around! She didn't want him to see her like this, she didn't want him to know just how much she'd been suffering and how very lonely she'd been for the past few weeks; how long she had waited for this moment to come, how many nights she had spent imagining herself being by his side! It was all too much, she couldn't handle it. Her heart would just burst out of her chest right then and there. 

Did Ydris even know how much she had missed him, how she blamed herself for everything that had happened between them? Y/N knew they were nothing more than friends, she knew, she was aware of it- and yet to her, Ydris was something more than that. He was special. 

Y/N took a deep, shaky breath, trying her very best not to sound nervous- never forgetting to wipe her tears away, too, and added: "b-because I don't want to lose you..."

The silence felt unbearable. If it lasted for just one more minute, Y/N was certain she'd lose her mind and walk away as if nothing had ever happened. She wanted nothing more than to disappear to some place where no one would ever find her and to die with her embarrassment peacefully. If Ydris kept on being quiet, she wasn't sure she would ever be able to face him again. 

God, why did he have to be like this? Y/N just wanted to apologize in hopes that it'd restore their... friendship, if that was even possible. She just wanted to make sure she could come back to his circus soon and that he'd greet her as he always did. Maybe he'd call her "my dove" or "my sweet" again and pretend that everything was okay, maybe he would show her one of his tricks or let her pet Zee or just talk to her as he always did-

-but Y/N wasn't so sure that was possible anymore. Not with that deafening silence lingering in the dimly lit tent. 

Though, finally, thank Aideen, he spoke to her again. He turned to face her at last, his eyes softening at the mere sight of the Soul Rider standing in front of him- taken aback by the tears in her eyes. It was as if just seeing her weep made all of his previous feelings fade away; all of the anger, the disappointment, Hell, even the bitter feeling in his chest suddenly disappeared as if it had never existed. 

Why did she, a mere mortal, make Ydris feel that way? 

"I am not angry with you, my sweet," Ydris showed a small, ever so visible smile, his hand itching to wipe away those tears on her cheeks, "it is none of your fault."

Y/N instantly looked up with wide eyes, shaking her head. "No, it is! It was me who hurt you back then," she placed a hand on her chest, right where her heart should be, "no one is at fault except for me."

"I think we both hurt each other." Ydris looked at his feet, recalling that very night. "Perhaps not physically, but emotionally."

Though he would never say it out loud, she had hurt him worse than she thought. Not because she took away his magic and practically forced him to return that foolish foal, no; just seeing her standing by them was what hurt the most. Even though they weren't even that close, even though he should've expected that to happen... he'd felt her energy on the very first day that they met- yes, he knew who she was, he knew the kind of power that hid deep in her- he should've been prepared. Ydris was a fool. It was just that, in the end: he'd been a fool to think it could ever be as simple as he imagined it. 

She was the reincarnation of Aideen, born to protect and bring light to Jorvik in desperate times. They were always meant to be on opposing teams. 

"I'm so sorry, Ydris," she still apologized to him. As if she wasn't just doing her job, as if Ydris didn't understand that she had no other choice- God, this was just so ridiculous, wasn't it? Getting all worked up because of a simple fight... what even made her do such a thing so late at night? 

He smiled, again, shaking his head, "it's quite alright, my dear."

Quite alright..? Did that mean what Y/N thought it meant? That he wasn't mad, that he'd forgiven her, that he was okay with going back to how things used to be..? God, how she hoped she was right, just this once! 

After a while, Ydris sighed, trying to lighten up the atmosphere, "my, I'm in no way dressed appropriately. Had I known I'd have a visitor, I would've gotten prepared long ago." 

That's right... Y/N hadn't really noticed, but a button on his vest was unfastened- and he didn't have the white cravat wrapped around his neck, which helped reveal a lot more of his skin than she'd ever seen, honestly- which would've been distracting, usually, but not right now. 

So did he forgive her? Was everything okay between the two of them? He talked to her as if he'd long forgotten about that night, and yet Y/N was just so uncertain... 

"I didn't think you'd want to see me. It took me a long time to decide whether I should come or not."

Ydris smiled. He smiled, just as he usually did, and Y/N felt a wave of relief wash over her. "I must say, I am quite glad you came, my sweet." 

"R-really?"

"Of course," he assured, "I can't hold a grudge for too long, after all. Especially not against you."

Y/N almost gasped, but held herself back by biting the inside of her cheeks. She knew for a fact that Ydris would never be able to imagine how happy she was, now that she found out everything was okay. 

"Thank God..." she said quietly, letting out a deep breath in utter joy and relief. 

Ydris chuckled, finding her every reaction entertaining. "I do have to admit, your apology was a bit unnecessary." 

Upon hearing that, Y/N's sadness faded away and was instead replaced by an irritated look on her face. "Oh, great! And I felt so nervous for nothing."

"Now, now, I didn't say that I don't appreciate it!" Ydris defended himself, lifting both hands up, "because I do. I am glad you understand, Y/N. Though, to be honest, I expected no less from you."

Y/N couldn't help but smile at that. To think that he had so much faith in her, that he trusted her so... that warmed her heart. 

"Then... we're friends?"

Ydris blinked, confused, looking into her eyes as if searching for the meaning of her words. However, it wasn't long before he smiled asked: "did we ever stop being friends, my dove?" 

"Ydris..." the Soul Rider whined. She turned away, an overwhelming feeling of joy rushing through her body - and for the second time, she couldn't stop herself from crying. 

"Oh, no, no, please, do not weep," he immediately rushed to her with no hesitation, gently taking her hands in his own, making the girl look up at him. "My sweet, no one on Jorvik is worthy of your tears. Don't you ever forget that."

Y/N furrowed her brows. "Not even you?"

Oh, goodness, what she did to him. Her tear-filled eyes, glimmering beneath the pale lights. Her pouty lips, seeming so very soft and so kissable, her warm skin against his own... jeez, what was she doing to his heart? Why did she care for him so much? Why did she feel the need to make him melt with just her words? It wasn't fair. He didn't want to feel that way. 

He didn't come to her world for this. 

And still, Ydris smiled for the umpteenth time, nodding his head in agreement. 

"Especially not me."

Y/N exhaled deeply. "I'm just so happy... I thought I'd lost you."

"Lost me? Over a simple fight? Why, my dear, what's gotten into you? You're so sentimental, I don't think I even recognize you."

And of course, hearing that, Y/N had to prove him wrong; she let go of his calloused hands, huffed, and muttered: "shut up!"

It was so nice, getting back to how they used to be so many weeks ago. Slowly, she began feeling more comfortable in his presence, and that feeling had been missed dearly! Though, she'd never said something like that to him before, but seeing how it cheered him up, maybe she didn't really regret it after all. 

Thank God she decided to see him. What would've happened if she didn't? 

Ydris ran a hand through his messy hair, untangling a few knots in the process- and suddenly got an idea in his head. 

"Shall I walk you home, Y/N?"

"W-what?" 

Y/N's entire body froze in disbelief, which Ydris found adorable. Haha, the way he could just say something as simple as that and make her flustered! He'd have to do that again sometime. 

"What? Would you prefer sleeping in my wagon?" He teased, to which Y/N lightly slapped his bicep. 

"You're unbelievable," she rolled her eyes. "But there's no need. I don't have to go far, anyways."

And yet he insisted without really knowing why, "are you sure? It is dark outside, after all. What if someone hurts you?"

Y/N shrugged. "Jorvik is the safest place on Earth. Besides, I'm fine. I can defend myself, if anything ever happens."

'Which it won't,' she thought to herself. 

"I will trust you on that, then."

There it was... trust. She'd missed hearing that. Y/N was so happy, her tears dry and replaced with a smile so wide and full of pure joy, adoration for the young man in front of her; the young man who returned the same smile, who gazed at her as if she was but a work of art. 

Goodness, they could stand like that until morning, just looking at each other like the two sheepish idiots that they were. 

But, alas, Y/N had a horse to take care of and Ydris had his circus - they had to part ways. 

"Alright, I'll get going," Y/N announced, "thank you for letting me speak, Ydris."

"Oh, my dear, no need. Thank you for coming here," before letting the girl leave, he asked: "will you come visit tomorrow?"

At that, Y/N chuckled quietly. "Of course."

How could she not? 

"Goodnight, Ydris." 

And in return, the magician gave a mere pleased hum. She was gone, and Ydris was left alone to wonder why his heart beat so fast, why she made him so happy and why his cheeks were so hot. Goodness, this really wasn't going as planned. Nothing was going as planned! 

But for now, all he could do was to deal with it. To push that feeling aside and focus on saving his home.

That's what he came here for, after all.


End file.
